June 28, 2005 - The On-Purpose™ Proverb

Soul searching begins with sole searching.

“Who am I?” is one of the most profound questions you will ever seek to answer. Much of our identity is erroneously formed by others’ opinions of us and shaped by experiences that reinforce and refine our sense of self.

Yet, the true answer to the question is found from above and within. It takes quiet time and solitude. Oddly, being contemplative is harder than it looks – I’m so programmed to equate action with productivity that rest feels like I’m playing hooky from life.

Being alone is not the same as solitude. When I’m alone I can fill the emptiness with television, email, web surfing, reading, or any number of busyness related activities ill-intended to avoid confronting the real me.

Soul searching is a time of resting in God’s presence, listening for His voice, and seeking His will. Jesus taught that the Kingdom of God is within and we are to seek it first. Yet, most of us pursue fame and fortune “out there in the real world.” Eventually, even precious Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz discovered, “There’s no place like home.”

And when my sole searching leads me to my soul, indeed I have found the kingdom of God. I’m home where God intends me instead of where the world might like me to be.

The On-Purpose Proverb, June 9, 2005

The older I get the less I find wrong with myself... my children do it for me.

The past ten days have been a time of deepening. A visit from an aging eighty-year old aunt at my parents’ home; a visit to a fifty-three year old cousin battling colon cancer; and a Sunday hospital visit to a thirty-five-year old friend who died on Wednesday due to brain cancer have all contributed to many thoughts on the meaning of life… and death.

Most would hold me out as an expert in the area of meaning. Certainly, I have written and spoken a great deal about the purpose of life. In fact, my life’s battle is to “eradicate meaninglessness.” It is one thing, however, to simply write or talk about meaning. It is another to experience first hand the final turn in the circle of life. The fact that death is the ultimate and inescapable healing from these worldly bonds gives me great comfort, perspective, and solace. I pray the same for you.

I must admit, watching one’s family and friends diminish in physical and mental capacity is no treat, yet it does provide its humorous moments. As my father helps my mother from her wheelchair into their car, we’ll jokingly remark, “They’re dancing again.” Far from it; but the larceny of a stroke to one’s mobility is somehow more easily resolved with laughter.

It is easy to chuckle at the failings of my parents, even as my children taunt and laugh harder at mine. I’ve come to see the humor is really a means of coming to terms with one’s own discomfort with aging and death – theirs and mine. My maturity hit home last week when the nighttime flashes in my left eye were found by the retinal specialist to be the result of the shrinking viscous sack in my eye. Read: aging.

There is more to life than time being spent between birth and death. Life is meaningful with the simple act of a choice to make it so. Take faith that we are part of a grand design. Faith sustains, defines, and provides hope that, yes, our time on this planet may seem insignificant relative to world history, but it is significant in the scope of our lives and those around us. Even so, when I start taking myself and my work far too seriously, I just laugh at myself and my frequent stupidity – not too hard, however, or else I might throw out my back. No sense giving the kids any more reasons to torment their dad.